Thursday 27 March 2008 – Pained, but hoping to bowl

I am not too sure if it is a symptom of seeing my GP on a regular basis that makes me aware of his inconsistency, but I have begun to wonder if I should not ask for a second opinion on the pains I am currently experiencing. My GP appears very thorough and my company Doctor has concurred that he must follow this line of course for pain management. I am also under the consultant at the oncology department at the ROH, however, this is not the same unit that carried out the operation on my lung which is apparently the cause of my discomfort now.

My GP today, following a phone call with him, has decided to increase my tablets by one day for a week, and then two the second week and finally to three in the third week, making a total of 600mg of Pregabalin. He has also said once again that he may refer me to a pain clinic but now he is also saying that perhaps he should contact my consultant(s) to discuss my condition.

My GP is away on holiday now for two weeks so I will give these tablets one last chance to work their magic or else I shall have to hold my GP to his latest idea of consultation followed by pain clinic.

If I am truly honest with myself and everyone else I am really fed up with having to live with all the pain right now and I really do not believe that anyone understands just how bad they are at times.

I have not quite reached an all time low but I did reach for the whisky bottle to assist the painkillers this evening, and I do not drink! I will not be going down that road as I know where it can lead but one drop in my tea seemed to work for a while..

The next time I visit my GP I need to stay focused and get him to take a more proactive approach to get these pains under control.

It is the start of the crown green bowling season soon and I really had hoped to be ready for it, I will just have to take more painkillers and enjoy it as much as I can. I have decided to play on a smaller green this year and have joined a different club to the one I was with last year.

Combating Cancer with words

A US study believes that Cancer patients may benefit from writing about their experiences and fears thus improving their quality of life.

One of my biggest regrets was not keeping a diary when I was diagnosed with Cancer in 1992. I have found this blog, started when my Cancer returned in 2006, very useful as a way of letting go of thoughts of illness as well as being able to recall various stages of my illness when called upon by GPs, Specialists and Clinic.

When I started this Cancer blog I had no idea how things were going to work out and I thought it may aid others going through similar experiences to myself. I have soon realised that this is probably more therapeutic for me than it is for anyone else.

I have been lucky in that my Cancer has once again been eradicated [I hate the term ‘in remission’], this time hopefully for good, however I still keep the diary to follow the progress of other problems related to my person health.

I also wish I had kept a diary for the rest of my life and then I wouldn’t have forgotten the names of people with whom I have crossed paths.

In addition to this blog I have my OETM blog, also a separate diary I keep on my laptop and I have just embarked on writing down my life growing up from a personal perspective. If nothing else it all keeps me busy, whether it improves my quality of life or not I really could not say but it does help me compartmentalise things in my head, which is good right?

Monday 17 March 2008 – Company GP Visit

I saw the Company Doctor today and it was not as bad as I had expected, not that I knew what to expect. She went over my medical history beginning with the Primary cancer I had in 1992 to the Secondary in 2006 and the resultant pains I am now experiencing as post Op.
She is quite happy for my own GP to work his way through the various courses of medication until one is found that will enable me to function without too much discomfort. It still may come down to visiting a pain clinic but all avenues of medication have to be tried first.
I am still on Pregabalin with a view to increasing its dosage next week provided the side effects do not get any worse between now and then.

The recommendation of the Company Doctor is that she sends a report to my manager requesting that for now he looks into my being able to work a few hours a week at home until I am recovered enough to return to work on a programme of phased working hours.

I do not have a problem with this proposal as I am now able to spend longer spells at the laptop and I have even begun to drive our car again provided I am not experiencing any dizziness.

Thursday 13 March 2008 – Pending visit to company GP

I am due to see the company GP on Monday 17 March, next week, I have no idea what format that will take or what sort of an outcome is expected from it. I suspect they will want to see me return to work as soon as possible. I shall be taking as much paper work with me as I can just in case the company GPs stance is strongly in favour of my return to work whilst not fully fit.

If forgot to mention in my last entry how my GP has made a couple of errors in the report he has sent into my place of work.
The first refers to me still being ‘under the care of the chest (Cardiothoracic Unit) at the University Hospital’ where I had my operation. I have told him on more than one occasion that this is not the case as I was referred back to the Oncology outpatients at the specialist Orthopaedic hospital.
The other is concerning the screening I receive at the oncology outpatients I attend where he states ‘The Consultant teams perform regular liver ultrasounds and CT scans to monitor for any further spread of his underlying malignancy’, again this is not true. My Doctor assures me he has read this somewhere but could not find the reference for it when I asked to see it. As a result I phoned the oncology and asked where my GP may have picked up this information from and they were quite adamant, but still pleasant, about the fact that this is something they would never normally, if ever, do. After 16 years of attending the out-patients department I have to conclude that this is true as I only ever receive chest xrays.

I have noticed of late that my Doctor does not always listen to what I have told him and as a result he does not always log things onto his computer as he should.

I have now begun to write down any symptoms I have during my latest course of tablets and I will continue to print them off for him to read during future visits.

Monday 03 March 2008 – Visit to GP

I tried to explain to my GP today why I had asked him to renew my prescription when I was visiting him the other week, this was when he took exception at me asking for a repeat prescription instead of handing it in at reception. Not only does he not remember the incident, at which he was quite vocal, but he also asked me today if I needed any more medication requirements whilst he was prescribing me my latest course of capsules to combat nerve ending pains.
The thought of his impending holiday must have put him in a better frame of mind.

I have now been prescribed Pregabalin 50mg three times a day, increasing to two three times a day commencing one week hence. I am hoping these will now nullify the messages to my brain without any side effects.

The previously prescribed Gabapentin were not enabling me to perform or function normally as the side effects of those ranged from dizziness to spaced-out!