living with cancer

This is the one diary I should have kept 14 years ago and one I wish I did not feel the need to keep now. I was diagnosed with bone cancer in 1992 and survived. 2006 and I now have another tumor under investigation: the journey begins again..

Friday, April 21, 2006

Thursday 6 April - Post Operative, who cares?

Naturally I do not remember much about the rest of Thursday after the Operation but I do know that things are not as good as they could be.
I have not been place in the HDU (high dependency unit), I can only assume this is because the operation went very well or there is not enough staff to cover this additional unit. I am however nearer to the nurses’ desk where they can keep and eye on me. But here is the point, even though I am nearer the desk the degree of care seems to have waned a little, not just for myself but for other patients too.
Firstly there is an older gentleman who is bought into the bay who is visited by whom I assume is his wife and a grandchild. All seems normal and I assume he is just another patient on the mend. After his visitors have gone his mental health seems to worsen a little. He begins to hallucinate by pretending to drink from a non-existent cup or smoke some kind of pipe. He stumbles to and from the toilets alone on a couple of occasions and even tries to get himself dressed to leave; he has no comprehension of where he is or why he is in hospital.
A nurse, whom I shall named Thorn, first became known to me during this period of time. She was slim, attractive and totally unsuited to the nursing profession. Looking back and describing her to others now I have likened her to being a hairdresser. I apologise to all hairdressers now, but her only concern appeared to be her next holiday, he failed love life and her lonely lifestyle. If it was not for the drugs I was on at the time I could have swore she even hit on me as a potential date!
Nurse Thorn paid little attention to the needs of the patient from where I was lying which became apparent when she was giving a tablets to the gentleman mentioned above. As she placed a tablet upon his tongue she became distracted by another nurse and she left the gentleman to attend another issue she left him with the tablet still upon his tongue; no drink to swallow it with. He was allowed to sit up in bed with no top on, for no apparent reason other than they had not bothered to redress him from his earlier exploits when trying to leave.
He was given a hot cup of tea by nurse Thorn and left to his own devices; I called her back again when he began to drink the tea and ended up spilling more down him than he actually managed to get inside him. He was then given a child’s beaker to drink from which totally bemused his already baffled mind. He then went missing again in the toilet for over 20 minutes alone.
Although I wrote some of this down at the time I will have to speak to my partner as to my own visits because it becomes a little hazy at this point.