Tuesday 2 May 2006 - Low
The doctor warned us that I may begin to feel quite low a while after the operation and I guess I am just coming into that period, even though at the time he said it I did not believe him, and if I did I did not believe I would be affected by it, but I am.
Also, I think those around me, especially my partner are finding the whole experience of coping with the illness and the aftermath of the operation very hard indeed. She would appear to be holding herself at a distance to me which is hard to bear at times.
Even though I am good at opening up communications and can express my feelings well I am not too sure that others can or feel comfortable doing so with me and their inability to return communication may not be entirely their own fault as I do have a way of ‘rubbing’ folk up the wrong way at the best of times, albeit not maliciously.
It has also been a bad day from a well being viewpoint, as I have a tightening across my chest that feels as though someone is screwing a giant clamp into my front and back. I believe this to be the scar tissue healing as it pulls across the wound.
In addition to this our 1 year old is suffering the after effects of her MMR vaccination, bless her.
I may call the hospital tomorrow to discuss the feelings in my chest and possible support or a chat with someone from the hospital to help my partner deal with the now. I have warned her things will get much worse if I need chemotherapy.
I have seen very little in the way of visitors and emails seem to be drying up, I guess folks are just getting on with their own lives again as the novelty of my illness wears off.
It will thankfully wear off for us again like it did 14 years ago for me.
Also, I think those around me, especially my partner are finding the whole experience of coping with the illness and the aftermath of the operation very hard indeed. She would appear to be holding herself at a distance to me which is hard to bear at times.
Even though I am good at opening up communications and can express my feelings well I am not too sure that others can or feel comfortable doing so with me and their inability to return communication may not be entirely their own fault as I do have a way of ‘rubbing’ folk up the wrong way at the best of times, albeit not maliciously.
It has also been a bad day from a well being viewpoint, as I have a tightening across my chest that feels as though someone is screwing a giant clamp into my front and back. I believe this to be the scar tissue healing as it pulls across the wound.
In addition to this our 1 year old is suffering the after effects of her MMR vaccination, bless her.
I may call the hospital tomorrow to discuss the feelings in my chest and possible support or a chat with someone from the hospital to help my partner deal with the now. I have warned her things will get much worse if I need chemotherapy.
I have seen very little in the way of visitors and emails seem to be drying up, I guess folks are just getting on with their own lives again as the novelty of my illness wears off.
It will thankfully wear off for us again like it did 14 years ago for me.
posted by old enough to moan @ 6:51 pm
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